Sensitive Skin Can't Sit With Us: Lobster Sob Story 🦞🎻

Is K-Beauty in Retrograde? Am I in Retrograde? Am I orbiting a lobster pot backward?

I am nearing the end of my staycation, which I had hoped to turn into a local K-Beauty crawl. The city and surrounding suburbs have plenty of spas, shops, markets, and restaurants. I thought it would be fun to compile a travel guide to share.

My enthusiasm took a sharp turn when I attempted to book a service at an upscale Korean head spa specializing in hair loss and dandruff treatments. Treatments can exceed $300, so I took my time planning. I reviewed the menu over the summer and decided to book during my week off this fall.

After scheduling some doctor's appointments, I was finally ready to book. I opened the spa's scheduling portal and filled everything out. That's when I discovered that its policies were listed on the very last page of the booking process, not on the website I had researched so extensively. You can only read them after clicking through the entire form, just before making a deposit.

The spa prohibits clients with "fungal infections, scalp psoriasis, or other contagious scalp conditions," among several other exclusions. 😳

A week has passed, so I've had some time to zoom out. The emotional punch has mostly dissipated, and I understand the policy better after reading up on it. But initially, seeing my condition — scalp psoriasis — listed alongside infectious conditions, as if it were also something dirty to be spread around, caused an unexpected amount of emotional distress. (Sticks and stones and words can, in fact, hurt me!)

My condition has been relatively well-managed, so I sometimes forget how disruptive it can be. I don't get turned away by hairdressers, for example, and I no longer have to worry about wearing dark clothes. (I once had a closet half full of only beige cardigans.) It simply didn't occur to me that a well-managed scalp could still be a reason for exclusion. That's naiveté on my part, not a complaint against the spa. I understand now why my scalp's barrier, even when well-managed, is extra vulnerable when treatments are more intensive than the usual salon scrub and massage. A year ago, I didn't even know Korean head spas existed, so I had some catching up to do.

But, wow. The casually worded policy left me feeling embarrassed and dirty. Posting it on the website would have saved me months of anticipation and probably softened the blow. The FAQs only confirmed that they treat hair loss and dandruff. Great! I felt like a candidate.

To make up for the lost opportunity, I decided to try a Seoul Beauty Club box. They advertise introducing lesser-known K-Beauty brands, which is something I want to explore. I provided information about my skin goals and ingredients I wanted to avoid. Their messaging was reassuring about the care they take to match products to individual goals and concerns. I paid.

Then the algorithm ran once...(okay)....ran twice...(uneasy feeling)...ran three times.

🦞

The algorithm returned only three products that were free of drying alcohol, niacinamide, and fragrance. The box has five categories.

Okay. (Uneasy feelings on expired hydrocortisone!) I'd already paid, and there was no discount for being able to use only three products from their entire catalog. I had to search the other two categories and read the ingredient lists myself to find the least irritating options.

That turned out to be a waste of time because nearly every product in all the categories are premium. Where was there a discussion of premium pricing? That meant adding anywhere from $8–$30 per product to the price of a box that was supposed to include five products. I had wrongly assumed those were add-on prices for people who wanted to supplement their selections. (I remember that discussion!) Nope. Adding just two premium products doubled the cost of the box.

And these were products that didn't even meet my skin profile. Somebody put rubber bands on my stubby little claws because I already came into this experience feeling boiled.

After deleting that cart, I settled on a sheet mask (which I already have too many of) and, honestly, I don't remember what else I chose. Whatever wouldn't add to the cost of the box. Part of me hopes the package gets lost in the mail. I don't want to look at it.

I should have known better with both the spa and the box. My dermatologist has warned me against spa treatments for my face, and I know how often skincare products marketed as safe for sensitive skin are full of irritants. These services aren't designed for sensitives.

But lobsters want to have fun too sometimes. Let me know when Vaseline offers a beauty box.